With these rings

Tomorrow I hit a major milestone, my 30th wedding anniversary. Or what I like to call it, 30 on the 30! This brings a variety of emotions to me.

I marvel at the numbers that I have been using over the last year. Forty: my high school reunion (last year) and when I began being a disc jockey at my college radio station in 1978. Thirty: my marriage and a whole bunch of children including my niece/goddaughter born in that year. Twenty-seven and twenty-three: the ages of my sons.

I look at pictures of our wedding and our early years together. We thought we were so knowledgeable and wise. Little did we know how green behind the ears we were. Little did we know of the experiences and exposures to life's twist and turns we would have to navigate. Happily naïve were we and we didn't even know it.

The wedding picture captured a brief moment in our life. A few of the family have left us over the thirty years and quite a few more have been added. And my husband and I have gone from being the young folk to almost being the elders of the group.

So where did the time go. To the things that mattered: family, friends, hobbies, career, volunteering. I am amazed at how much was accomplished over that time. With the biggest and best accomplishment of all being our sons: Bill and Dan. They have brought so much love and joy...and lots of laughter into our home. What these two men (OMG, not boys? Where has the time gone!) have achieved and experienced in their lives so far pales to what my husband and I did by that time in our lives. I am simply astounded.

My husband and I just returned from a long vacation to Jamaica. A trip so sorely need by us. Folks who we met, after their surprise of being married to the same person for 30 years, (do I look that young? LOL!) asked what it took to stay married for so long. I joked "I don't have a clue!" My husband on the other hand answered "patience." At time I felt that we were a novelty. At times I felt very old.

But what does it take to remain committed to someone for such a long time. It isn't just one skill, quality, ability, feeling or gift. There are many interconnections happening at once. Of course there is love which does change, as well as become stronger over time-at least for us. Patience is a must, for people do change over time and at times the change may not be easy or expected. Which leads into flexibility. It is very important to allow the couple to grow as well as the individuals in the couple to grow. Interests as well as activities change and it definitely doesn't hurt to spend a little time apart, which then you must have trust. And of course, laughter. And lots of it!

There are others of course: understanding, acceptance, respect, and forgiveness. All of them have played an important part of our marriage and our lives. We have definitely grown and have mellowed. But would I do this all over again with this guy.....hell yea! Happy Anniversary honey! And to another 30 more!