Helping hands.

Last week was a really rough one for me. After a few days of bad news and seeing folks behave poorly, I had enough of humans. This was just my personal life...I don't even want to venture into the public arena. Being who I am, a Cancerian, I crawled into my home and stayed there. I needed space. I needed peace. I needed quiet. For once, I was able to have it all.

But sooner or later, I needed to venture into the world. Especially when the cupboards were bare-ish. So, I made a compromise to keep myself happy, order groceries online and pick up the goodies at the store's parking lot.

Not too long ago, it seems that the only way to get your food way to go there in person. I assume if you are wealthy, this task would have been given to someone else. As crazy as it sounds, I don't mind food shopping. I dislike bringing the food in and putting it away-go figure! (And thank God for the men in the house!) Usually, I go off hours so that I avoid crowds and long lines. Since COVID however, I generally food shop online.

So, on a Saturday morning, I sat in the designated spot in the parking lot, texted the code into my phone and waited. (Honestly, if you told me 10 or more years ago about this, I would have thought you were crazy!) A very friendly employee came out with all of my goods packed and ready to go.

As we were loading up my car, one of the bags I picked up was very heavy. I made a comment about needed help. From out of nowhere it seems, three people showed up to help me out. I was caught off guard and flattered at the same time. After exchanging pleasantries, they went on their way.

After the car was filled with food, I sat in the car with tears in my eyes...moved by strangers offering help without hesitation. They overheard my words and acted upon them. What they didn't realize is that I needed help.

Confession: I hate to ask for help. This has been a lifelong, ingrained mindset. Some of this is based on family-by my upbringing: which included negative critiquing and labeling (lazy, stupid, weak for example), my parents upbringing and by society. Over the last few months, I realized that my stubbornness has created more difficulties, some of which could have been avoided.

Example is when I arrived home from Florida earlier in the month. I wanted the suitcase out of the car as soon as I got home. Why...because I wanted it NOW (Debbie's two-year-old temper tantrum!). What I learned is that taking a very heavy suitcase out of a car can hurt your back. So, for the next ten days, I was not moving so well.

The irony is that I am always willing to help out. When I do, I don't look for a payback. The reward for me is joy in knowing that someone's day is a bit easier. What I need to learn and to be open to is for me to give someone joy when I need a helping hand. It doesn't have to be a hand. A smile. Kind words and/or gestures. For I don't know what others are going through as well as they don't know what is going on behind my blue eyes. Which for me at this time is just grateful for my life. And these small actions give me hope and appreciation for people.