Never in my lifetime.

Since I last posted on my blog, lots of things changed in my life. I went back to work part time in an elementary school. It was a last minute fling of a decision to do something with my time. A decision that at times I have regretted but have now appreciated.

But if you told me that in my lifetime I would see an pandemic, I would have first asked what the hell is that and then thought you would be out of your mind. The last time this happened was over a century ago. Things change and our society is beyond that. Little did I know.

So for the last three weeks I have been home, which to me is not so bad. For once, being a procrastinator has benefitted me in having projects to do around the home that I have been slowly attacking. I know that I will be home for a while. Additionally, I have been working remotely to keep up with my responsibilities with the public education position that I currently hold. While that does occupy my time, I miss...really miss the human contact. Especially the students.

Over the last few weeks, a few students that I graduated high school with passed away. None from this virus...just the usual causes-cancer and heart attacks. Many of my classmates-myself included-were deeply moved by this. Then add this pandemic and one must stop and reassess. Which is something I am noticing on social media.

A reconnection, a revisit to things of the past. Of familiar times and places. And faces. With rose tinted glasses and selective memories. Those things we hold onto: physical, emotional, spiritual and psychological. Personal stories and the history of our time, when things, even though we may not remember the uncertainty of the moment, we had gone through. For our comfort and at times discomfort. But it is something we know.

I can't tell you how many times I expressed gratitude that my trips over the last few years happened then and not at this time. Especially after hearing what happened in Italy, (how this breaks my heart), and of the difficulties in trying to get home and to keep from being exposed. Another reason why I love living in the country.

Now we don't know. There is no personal reference to use. Nothing in our memory banks to associate this with. This virus is everywhere affecting most aspects of our "normal" daily existence. Even if you stop and walk in nature, away from the media, away from the numbers and from the difficulties, you know that life is different then it was from such a short time ago. Observing how certain government officials fail miserably to those who have put the nose to the grindstone and fighting for what needs to be done just adds to the difficulty in dealing with this dilemma . You can not politicize a pandemic without losing lives. Without losing belief in our leaders. Without fear and anxiety.

Yet, some light, some hope have emerged. Some reconnections of family and friends have taken place over the last few weeks. I am so appreciative of what I have in my life and am taking the time daily to embrace and to show gratitude. I know that I am in a better position than many, and I pray for everyone to get through this and to grow from this.

Please stay safe and pay attention to what you are doing. It does make a difference.