Sunrise, sunset

Sunrise, sunset

Sunrise, sunset

Swiftly fly the years

One season following another

Laden with happiness and tears.(Jerry Bock & Sheldon Harnick)

Hearing this song in the movie/musical Fiddler on the Roof always makes me cry. But the hardest time I cried was when my youngest son, Dan, was in the play Fiddler on the Roof Jr. when he was in middle school back in 2007.

To see some of these preteens dressed up as elders while singing this song, gave the grown ups in the audience a serious moment to reflect. And I wouldn't be surprised if the singers didn't take a moment to reflect on their sunrises and sunsets too.

This has been a special time for me to look at the seasons of my life. Turning 60 has turned out to be more monumental than I thought. To be honest, I don't recall when I turned 50 to be a big deal. But I was very busy with my family, with one son going off to college and one son still at home. I was finishing my second year of teaching and was being transferred to an elementary school. Right now however, my sons are grown and self sufficient. I retired from my job last year have spent the year focusing on other aspects of my life.

Life....laden with happiness and tears. Of traffic jams and open roadways. Of shopping lists and menu specials. Of baby smells and teenage smells. Smells of the elderly too. I marvel that I made it to 60 in relatively good health. My eyes spend more time in the crowd looking at those older than me then younger. I look at how their temple fared through the years, and ponder how their minds are. What do they pine for? What regrets or missteps do they reflect on? What color are their glass lenses? What can they see...what can't they see?

This is where I am right now, reflecting as well as planning. What I envisioned my life to be like at 60 didn't turn out like I planned. None of it. I am a planner by nature. A list maker, list reviewer, who takes pride in crossing off what I have accomplished. Yet, here I sit, realizing that what my plans were was not meant to be. So I have learned with grander lists beyond what to buy at the grocery store are meant to be fluid. I must peel myself away from the screen and keyboard, from the paper and pen to marvel at what is around me, outside of me and away from me. Especially at nature's fireworks: the sunrises and sunsets.